Keyboard, Possessed

I found it! That Jeffrey Campbell rain boot. It wasn't exactly fresh off the shoe factory so I didn't find it in stores. But I did find it here, on sale, I might add. It should arrive in the mail about two days from today. Also arriving in the mail? My Telephantasm 2 CD and DVD edition. It's the videos I'm most excited about.

Okay, back to footwear. I already have visions of what to wear with it. and I don't just mean the umbrella I'll be holding over my head, although I'll probably need that too.

I meant something like this:




Or this:




Except when I imagine those, I also have a vision of THIS:





What is going on with that elf? He's completely fried. Although, I look almost exactly like that on the six o'clock evening hour, after I've crashed on my coffee pot worth of caffeine for the day. ZING! Whaddya know? It's just about 6 right now ayeEEE! WakakakakaKAKA!

Moving on, it was pointed out to me that all the movies I listed on that other post were old. I can't do anything about that because I like them but I do actually like movies that are more recent. In fact I should have included The Breakfast Club.

Oh all right, before I look like a complete fossil, here are some (relatively) recent Netflix-ed or, 90s and later movies that I liked and would recommend:

The Secret in Their Eyes
A Prophet
Crazy Heart
The Cove
A Single Man
The Young Victoria
Up
Coco Before Chanel
Apocalypse Now. What? How did that get on the list? Annie Hall. Blackadder 1-4. Hey! What is going on?! Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. To Kill a Mockingbird. The Red Shoes.

OMG. My keyboard's possessed.

Posing Lecture No. 3

The following post is brought to you by, The Starlets' School of Posing. This is a transcript of Professor Mary Lara "Billy" Menounos Hart-Spencer's most recent lecture.

"Ladies. I'm back. Welcome me. This is a short lesson because I have an appointment for serious medical matter - varicose veins. Ay.

All right. What have we here? I will show you some pictures of the most primal, most savage, most raw posing and styling you have seen. You can learn much, ladies, if you open your mind to the wonders of the jungle! LOOK!





Yes! This Taylor Momsen, look at her. See the tilt of her head. The little mmph on her lips. Tell me, class, what strikes you about Miss Momsen? Yes, you there, go ahead.

YOU FOOL! I will not have fools in my class saying Taylor Momsen looks like the hookers in streets at night! Blasphemy! the answer I am looking for is that Taylor is an animal. She is a sensuous, intelligent panda. Yes! A panda! And that little pout? It is the method acting saying, I am panda, I want to go back to my home with the bamboo and my panda brothers and sisters.

This girl! She makes me weep because she is a genius.

Now we go to the hot, dark deep of the jungle. Where the hunters try but can never capture the creature called, THE LEOPARD! LOOK!





Again I want to weep! Ladies, look closely, what do you see? Yes, you wearing the headband, go on.

NOOOO! How dare you answer that Ms. Paz de la Huerta looks like a cat on a crazy train. Can you not see this elegant yet dangerous predator? The lipstick the color of dried blood? The sheen of perspiration from hunting her prey? No?

This class depresses me! Get away from my sight, all of you! Leave now."

End of lecture.

It's Someone's Birthday

Happy Birthday to my BFF who is thousands of miles away. We spent our birthdays (which are only days apart) together last year and we will have that again in future. For now, cheers to us, and the year ahead!

And because she's fond of these muumuus, I mean, memes that make you list 15 somethings or describe in detail such and such, and because she asked me to answer the question, what is in your bag?




plastic case for some paperwork I had in there yesterday
sunglasses
eyeglasses
little purse holding the most ragged-looking mini address book you have seen and an even more pathetic lip color palette
pen
wallet
a Daiso plastic bag (Where all unmarked items are $1.50!) - A side story about the contents of this bag. I was out hoping to buy some birthday presents... for me. Instead I found myself in this wasteland of Japanese products. I bought a bottle of liquid eyeliner, a chignon hair tool, one of those foot file things that look like a microplane and heel cup shoe supports - for support. And all right, maybe an added half an inch of height.
a bunch of folded up facial tissues
Chapstick
schedule for the #28
(not pictured because I've taken it out of my bag)a library book called Tombs, an anthology from 1994 - Another side story. Being a bookworm has its dangers as this book whacked me right on the bridge of my nose while I was reading in bed the other night. I swear I felt my skull vibrate. How embarrassing would that be, to have to tell people you got a book-injury.

That's about it. What was in my bag as of yesterday.

Since we're doing momos, let's just continue. In random order, a few of my favorite movies:

Notorious
The Philadelphia Story
Rear Window
Billy Elliot
Brief Encounter
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Casablanca, okay can I just say, what a face Ingrid Bergman has.
Abre los Ojos
Paper Moon

And finally, this song is stuck in my head and it does not seem to be going anywhere:

Clearance Items on this Rack

How do I say this nicely, about myself? Let's see...

Okay, there's no way so I'll just come right out and say it. I am kind of a cheapo. There. Now that that's out of the way I'd like to share my very brief Fall shopping list.

I would like a pair of rain boots. This is kind of puzzling but even though I've lived in rainy Seattle for almost 7 years now, I have never owned a pair of rain boots. Let's just say I've experienced quite a bit of flooding in my flats. Yuck, right? So this year, I want a pair that's similar to what Michelle Williams is wearing in this paparazzi picture. There's a Jeffrey Campbell Vee rain boot in black that looks great. They're about $50. I like that they look so easy to slip on as opposed to taller boots that might suffer from Gaping Mouth Syndrome and Pulled Pant Leg Disease.

Not only have I foolishly and consistently worn flats through the rain but I've done so in winter too. I want to make it up to my feet and get another pair of boots. I saw a pair of Zara lace-up wedges in black. Don't tell anyone but they kind of spoke to me. I think they said, oy woman, being broke ain't so bad. Buy me. But that short trip to Vancouver came and went and I never did spend the 99.90CAD on that pair. There isn't a physical Zara store here and their website is all, you're being punished for not buying so contact the webmaster to get a lecture against delayed gratification and wait until our online store is up.

Several blog posts ago I complained about my odd-shaped head and how hats just don't fit me. That has not changed. My skull is as small and lumpy as it ever was which means that hats are still a no for me. I do want one of those chunky knitted headbands that can stretch wide enough to cover your ears. Hey! it's a two for one: warm ears and no hat head, woohoo.



I would also like a new bag as I've pretty much used my favorite bag to death. I mean I've put a leftover, napkin-wrapped sandwich(or 2, or more) in there, 3 library books at the same time, two small shattered pieces from the car's rear light, a can of diet rootbeer, a bag of chips, etc, etc...

Some have complained that the Sofia Coppola-Louis Vuitton collab was boring but I really like this, or, realistically speaking, something that looks like this:



I want one of those larger bags with both an adjustable shoulder strap so you can wear it across your body, or not, and top handles. Being a sort-by-price-low-to-high kind of shopper, I would like one that's reasonably priced.

By reasonable I mean affordable. By affordable I mean cheap. And by cheap I mean I'll probably still be using my current bag for a few more months.




*Prada Fall 2010 headband, Sofia Coppola and Louis Vuitton SC bag

Hana and the End

Yes, I will admit it. I was a dizzy mess on the drive back from Hana. My Dad was driving and even with my stong belief in his skills, my guts had an even stronger belief in its desire to expel its contents. Thankfully, any vomiting was avoided. I just held that position (see picture below) and variations of it throughout the trip.



We had some pizza and soup for dinner and in my condition I was unable to to take a single bite.

Just kidding.

My appetite was intact and my head back to normal so the day ended just as well as it began.

What wasn't normal? My hair. Actually, the whole family's hair. How was I supposed to know that in our collective effort to save on checked baggage fees that I was the only one with a travel-sized bottle of shampoo in my Zip Lock bag? Surely they were all to blame for us having to use soap in lieu of shampoo!!! You know how when you bake and the recipe calls for egg whites beaten into stiff peaks? Yes? That was the general state of our hair until we got to buy shampoo at the store.

Hair problems aside, Day 5 was a lot of fun with another go at Wailea. The water was quite rough. The paddle boarders were nowhere in sight and even the dude in swim trunks manning the bouncy slide was missing.

We found a floater labeled, "Linda," close to where we set up our mats and beach towels. My sister saw it as a gift. Look, no one claimed it. It was just sitting there. Don't go giving us evils. Besides, the Sharpie-written, "Linda," was a sign since my Mom's BFF is named Linda. Now, "Linda" the floater's former owner will be happy to know that we put the thing to good use, floating and bouncing with the waves.

The following morning was set for a short swim at Kamaole II again. Then packing, where boxes of Chocolate Macadamias and Hawaiian coffees were distibuted amongst our carry-ons. After lunch, we headed back to the airport.

A few notes on Hawaiian Air. They have some really pleasant flight attendants and even with a Blended Pasta or Bread Sandwich with ham sprinkles meal, I will happily accept any food on a domestic flight, that is still free. Oh and they showed Prince of Persia so that was also a plus.

And as I wrap this post up, I find myself back at my desk, looking out my window where I have an excellent view of Seattle's currently overcast skies. But my spirits are high. Just a glimpse at my already peeling nose and forehead in the mirror, or a glance at my blackened shoulders and I am transported back to my Maui experience.

Check it Out Braughhhh

That's what the shirtless dude by Kamaole Beach Park II said. He followed it up with, only $18.95. I don't know what he was selling or renting though. Now, I didn't have my glasses on at that time but I promise you, he looked almost exactly like Chris Cornell. Except, this guy was shorter and I think several of his teeth were missing... Well, maybe he doesn't look like Chris Cornell at all.

Anyway, that was one of my encounters with shirtless men in Maui, Hawaii, where encounters like such are unavoidable. We stayed at Kihei where the beach was just a cross walk away and where people actually flocked to for the sunset.



As a bonus to an already magnificent view, one also got an abundance of sand blown into one's bodily crevices. And wait, there's more... Foodland was close which meant that their delicious poke was never too far. No joke, I am not much of a raw fish fan but that was some amazing poke. I forget the exact variety but it was something like garlic ahi tuna. Their Kim Chee mussels were also very good. And I'll stop there because just typing Kim Chee mussels is making my mouth water.



Can I just say, I was a bit scandalized by the grocery prices. And the coffee prices. $4 for an iced, tall, drip coffee? That's right, drip.

On our second day in Maui, we went to Wailea Beach. That was some swanky area. Speaking of swanky places, I wish I knew where Oprah's Maui house was. I would've totally checked it out. Back to Wailea - big houses, posh mall, tiny public parking for the beach. One of the things I liked about it was that the shore was so wide that getting sand kicked in your face by people walking around just didn't happen. In my Mom's words, as she compared Honolulu's Waikiki to Wailea Beach, you don't have to be near any bitches or jerk bastards and their little devils. JUST KIDDING. I said that. My Mom would never ever.

And the Grand Wailea Resort? It was grand. Sprawling, kind of flashy but with a flashy kind of charm.

The following day, we took the long trip to Lahaina although we decided to keep driving since we saw how rocky the beaches were. We went to Kapalua Beach instead. It was even more intimidating than Wailea. They had gated areas and the Ritz Carlton and lots of super slim and tanned older ladies in micro shorts. It was a challenge looking for shore access and public parking but it was well worth it. The beach was smaller but the snorkeling was fantastic.

Oh, all right, by snorkel I mean awkwardly shove that mouthpiece in my maw and take gasping breaths while getting my hair tangled up with the mask's strap. Let's just say it took me a while to ease into the snorkeling groove and when I did, then yes, it was fantastic.




Next up on our Maui itinerary was the drive to Hana. The day started like a dream. Sunshine. Lovely breakfast. A neatly packed lunch in the backseat and off we went. We stopped by Moana Bakery where we met lovely people who boxed our apple streudel and chocolate croissant. Then we were on the winding road to Hana. We wound and wound in a zigzag pattern. In fact it was so zigzag I now know what Scary Spice means by zigazagAAAAHHH!

The views were breathtaking. The trees were gigantic. I also learned that a loop trail is another term for harder, muddier path. There was an amazing spa-like smell at the arboretum from one of the plants, no doubt. And the black sand beach was a beauty!



But, in the way that travels typically go, a return was required. And my return journey from Hana? Well, let's save it for the next post, shall we?