Sister in Seattle

I need to say this before I forget, I had the most amusing dream where the Chicago Bulls' Derek Rose danced the waltz with me! ME! Funny that a basketball player figured in my dream, I was that person in P.E. class whom the teacher pointed at to say, Girls, that's how NOT to dribble the ball.

In more random tidbits, here's one of my latest misread passages from magazine articles: Bra Remover. I went, excuse me? A bra remover? How about using one's hands?! A few blinks later, my tired eyes were able to read the text as it was: Bra Makeover.



It's been almost two weeks since my older sister came to visit us in Seattle. She went to Phoenix (desert, cacti and um, older people, according to her) for a work thing and she was able to get a few more days off for us. We made sure to have all four days of her visit as packed with activities as we could. Activities such as:

a visit to Seattle Center where we took lots of pictures with super cute cloudy skies as a backdrop, and yeah, the EMP and Space Needle were in the background as well

a mini shopping spree in the three-floor wasteland that is Forever 21, in downtown Seattle

Another shopping excursion at Premium Outlets followed by...

Dinner at Eagles Buffet in the Tulalip Casino. Keep in mind that this is the sister who once used Buffet as a video game name.

Hanging out outside McDonald's on Third and Pine sipping a McCafe beverage and interacting with locals at the bus stop. Just kidding.

A morning at Snoqualmie Pass for photo ops with snow and creepy deserted buildings

A big family dinner at Maggiano's where almost everyone's dining savvy was on display by ordering the buy-one-take-one-home pasta specials

A cup of coffee at two-hour intervals

A visit to the Pike Place Market pig... and the actual market

A visit to the dueling pianos at Mingebar. AAay, sorry sorry. One more misread item. That was Munchbar, where we narrowly missed a brawl, but did not miss the drops of blood on the ground. Yikes.

A bus ride where my sister took note of some fashion trends such as denim shorts over tights, with cowboy boots

Dimsum brunch where we nibbled on bite-sized dumplings. Just kidding. It was more like inhaling than nibbling.

The objective was to have her as tired as a two-year-old at the end of the day. We were, in fact, so successful at tiring her out that she was asleep as soon as she came within two feet of the bed.

Now, my sister's return home was right on Mother's Day which was sad for her since my nephew didn't get to spend it with his mom. But it was also sad for our Mom who was kind of emo the rest of the day. It was really obvious after she Taylor Momsen-ed her eyes and started gelling her hair with some Dippity-Do.

Posing Lecture No. 512

This post is brought to you by the Starlets' School of Posing, now an affiliate of Phoenix University, classes have started and students are no longer accepted, with the exception of people with names beginning with X. This is a transcript of the online lecture of Professor Mary Lara "Billy" Menounos Hart-Spencer.

"Chicas and Chicos. Chicos. Yes, that is the name of the store I just went shopping at. You like my chubby necklace?

Excuse me? Who interrupts? Young lady, you heard me. I said chubby necklace, not chunky. Come close, you see it is made of lard. Silly girl.

Today. Very, very, very special day. As you know it was the Met Gala. The Fashion Olympics. The Decathlon of Style. The Iron Chef of Non-chefs. The World Cup of Needle and Thread.

Whoo. Wow. Sports-words. They make me tired. Pardon the sweat stains.

Okay, let's turn on the projectile and look at photographs. First on the screen. Ay. Aaaay. Ladies, I am out of breath. This great woman. She melts me like candle wax. Look, you fools!




Beyon-saay. Beens. Bey-once. Ye gods! Learn from her, all of yous. See how she stands like a statue. See how she holds her head high, how her bosom is a shelf for tchotchkes and trinkets. See! She is a queen. They hoist her up the stairs like a masterpiece from Michaeljackson. I mean, Michelangelo.

Hush! Woman! I can hear you whispering over yonder! What goes on?



No. Nonono! This cannot happen. Aaay. My girl, she broke down and finally took a breath! Nooo. She breathed and she clean-popped out of her dress. Why can't it be me, instead? Why? Whyyyyy?"

(Transcriptionist's note: The Professor turns her back on the class and cries for 16 1/2 seconds)

"I am recovered now. Let us resume. Who can tell me who is this?

Yes, you silly girl, wearing sweater with big buttons... I beg your pardon? She is not Jello. Call her by name stupid woman. This is Jennifer Lopez! And she is wearing this beauty. Like a garden in Springtime the red flowers so pretty on her shoulders. See, my students, observe how her eyes are like piercing needles on big fat veins to carry forbidden dru... No, no, I mean like small prick for when checking blood sugar of Grandma.

Learn from her. She is not just wearing petals. She is a petal. She looks like a flower and... come on, all together... STINGS LIKE A BEE. Yes! Good! This is hard, my students! Anyone can wear flowers but not everyone can be a flower!

What? What is going on?



Estupido! That Marc Anthony! I told him no water near Jennifer's shoulders! Not a sprinkle! Aaay. Now, see what happened!"

(Transcriptionist's note: The Professor is clearly hysterical. She throws a whiteboard eraser at me and proceeds to trash the classroom.)