"Good Morning, ladies. How are you today? I feel fantastic, thank you. I was able to pass by the Curves Gym for females only and did some crutches. Ay. Crunches, I mean. It is my accent. Forgive.
All right today we take a look at some wonderful photographs from CFDA Awards. These photos will illustrate the poses I want to discuss with you today. First is this Dakota Fanning:
Yes! This is what I'm talking about. Of course she has the Permanent Hand on Waist but she maximizes the effect by crossing her thighs. I looove this pose, ladies. You know why? Because this isoceles triangle between her calves is like a vortex that sucks out leg fat. I get excited by this! What do you think the jealous fashion critics might be saying to themselves when they look at Ms. Fanning? Go on, take a guess...
(Transcriptionist's note: student in back of lecture hall says something unintelligible, Professor Billy responds.)
WHAAT? How dare you, young lady! The jealous critics are not saying 'do you need to peepee in your panty?!' Your stupidity is offensive. Time out for you!
Let us move on. Ladies, what do Tyra Banks and me have in common? Correct. We both want to see the neck! Starlets with no neck are no starlets at all. The neck is a graceful slope. We must draw attention to it at all times. Take a look at Ms. Irina Lazareanu!
Genius! What better way to say to your public, 'look at my neck,' than to wear a NECK BELT?
(Transcriptionist's note: a student approaches Professor Billy and they have a private discussion.)
Aaay. No. I am broken. Your classmate has just informed me that the reason for the neck belt is a serious, serious matter. Let's hold hands, ladies. Ms. Lazareanu has what is called, Body Part Displacement Disorder.
That's right. She does actually have her waist on her neck. The belt covers the navel. Woe is me!
I am shy to talk about next photo. You will all say I have a favorite. But I couldn't resist! Presenting, Ms. Dree Hemingway!
She is doing what few starlets have attempted, that is the Religious Conviction Pose. Ms. Hemingway is to be admired by all of you. Her beliefs are important to her which is why instead of wearing that string on her wrist like other followers of Kabbalah, she is wearing it on her forehead!
Learn from her, young ladies, convictions, principles are what truly matter. Not blood flow to the brain or avoiding mushroom formation of hair or being comfortable. Gangrene of the forehead? Ay! Believe me, that is nothing!"
(End of lecture.)
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