Angry Angrier Angriest

Funny how anger manifests itself in different personalities. Some people raise their voices. Others drive off and disappear for a while. And some people hit things. According to a recent poll, my expression of anger is more towards the passive aggressive end of the spectrum. Occasional bursts of anger with no obvious manifestation and/or screaming into a pillow while imagining violent scenarios followed by bouts of guilt.

Okay, just kidding. There was no poll. I'm not about to go ask people around me what they thought of me. That's silly. But if you have time, when I get mad, do I

a. stay silent
b. start screaming
c. collapse after my neck veins pop

Sometimes all it takes is one little thing in your day that goes wrong and suddenly everything is making you mad. Not only that but you start remembering everything else in your life that has angered you. It could start with you stubbing your toe on a chair leg and then bam! You're a fiery ball of remembered wrongs and resentments.

Just writing about this is giving me a mental image of past incidents. Remember Lady Boss with the tight shoes? You know what that megabitch said to me when I was finally leaving that job? When I finally found the courage to dig myself out of that five year rut I was in? She said, "ooh, scary." I wish I had said something. Something like, "Betch, you don't know my life! Don't be all up in my bizness!"

Or that time at a meeting when we had this little potluck and the woman behind me made some comment about how little I was putting on my plate. I didn't get mad instantly but the more I thought about it, the more it niggled in my head and made my blood start to boil. I didn't say anything to her when she was piling her plate high, without caring about the other people in line behind her.

OH MY GOD. IT'S ALL COMING BACK. I'M GETTING A JUVENILE URGE TO VANDALIZE SOMETHING!





There. Okay. Seriously though, with my fear of confrontation and a tone of voice that pretty much stays the same no matter what I'm feeling, I really should figure out a way to release my anger in a healthy manner. Because most of the time, the outside might look something like this:





But the inside is more like this: