Nico Vega Vs Codeine Velvet Club
Sorry Codeine Velvet Club. You guys were great but in the battle of opening bands, you were no match for Nico Vega's offloading of craziness. And by craziness I mean crazy eyes and crazy energy. The singer was so into it even the guitarist looked at her strangely for a second or two. She also gets extra points for wearing what appeared to be a moss green velvet cape over a sheer white dress and a sequined neck tie.
Seriously though, they were good. To my limited-musical-knowledge ears they sounded like Bjork and Black Sabbath's children, but raised by wolves... in an abandoned eyeliner factory. Hey, that is a compliment. Feral children are fascinating.
Behold, Nico Vega:
Emily Haines with musical instrument Vs Emily Haines without
I am tempted to say it's a tie but I think without wins. She's brilliant either way but without means she can dance and her dance moves are very entertaining. Plus, she gets to move from stage left to stage right to give the audience equal attention. One more thing, they sound a lot like they do on their album and that is a good thing. Their fantastic performance can only be summed up by a youtube comment I chanced upon. It was probably written, and this is a guess, by someone whose first language may not be English. It goes, "they play to the best they can to the festival."
Blond Sisters: Drunk Vs Sober
Drunk wins. She looked like she was having a lot of fun dancing with strangers while periodically turning to her sister to say, "Look at me! I love you!" Sober, on the other hand, just got crabbier by the minute, threatening an uppercut to the face to the lady who allegedly elbowed her in the ribs. Drunk's margin of victory also increased the moment she pulled out a disposable camera and uttered, "elephants on a pancake," to no one in particular.
Elbow Vs Armpit Vs Boobs Vs Sweat
Yeah, I'm talking to Mr. Chubbs in the turquoise shirt aka Elvis the Pelvis, and his girlfriend who used her boobs as a battering ram to get to the rail (they didn't make it, haha). Getting jostled and mildly assaulted by random body parts is a given at a concert of this sort so let's just call them all winners, with sweat at a slight advantage. Yes, that would be you, Mr. Curly Hair in a tank top. You get to bring home the trophy!
I would like to close this little ditty with a moment of silence for this pair of glasses which, though bold and brave, lost in the battle of Eyewear Vs Footwear.
* all photos by I.P.
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