Monday, April 29, 2013

Shopping Misguide Spring/Summer 2013 Edition

With April on fast forward, and September just around the corner, this edition of Shopping Misguide is long overdue. So I'll just jump right into it.

Must Have No. 1: Black and White

All you need to do is think of certain images to bring this trend to life. Close your eyes and think: Piano keys. Hamburglar on heels. Referee chic. Chess couture. Mime Fashion Week. One of Michael Jackson's biggest songs ever. Eyeballs. A healthy tooth beside a cavity-ridden one.



This shouldn't even be a "trend." We all have black and white in our closets. The key is to really zebra it up and play with that contrast. And get your friends in on it with a day of themed dressing in the vein of Spy Vs. Spy Meets Oreos.

Must Have No. 2: Ruffles

Preferably sour cream and onion with chilled ranch dip. Just kidding. Ruffles are tricky. I think we women have a love-hate relationship with anything that's overly feminine. Which is why when wearing ruffles it is advisable to temper the sweet detail with something sharp and edgy. A knife necklace, perhaps. I am also drawn to the idea of a mustache, the more natural the better, so no waxing ladies!

Must Have No. 3: Sheer

And I don't mean L'Eggs! Hey, remember your mom's pantyhose? The ones that came in a little egg-shaped receptacle? We're not talking about that. We're talking about a look at me/no, don't look at me approach. This calls for the most revealing outfit you have ever owned but with an overlay of swishy, sheer details. But why stop there? I propose taking this a step further. For instance, over your most streamlined summer sandal, wear a pair of clogs. Have a pair of creepy little shades? Layer that underneath your oversized sunglasses! Wearing a bandaid from a paper cut? Add a cast.

Must Have No. 4: Rainbow Brite

I'm sure you've seen this everywhere. Those bold, bright lipstick shades that look like they're fresh out of your box of crayons. I am not brave enough to wear those colors. I am not brave enough to wear lipstick, period. Why? All I know is that my lips are so dry that by the end of the day they'll be cracking and looking like a mosaic. But, if I could, I would definitely try all those reds and pinks and Rihanna purples and my fave, The Alaska:



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