Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tszuj It Up, Sweetums!


Hello, Sweetums! Yup, that's what Shawn of QVC said to one of the callers on Live with Isaac Mizrahi the other week. QVC-speak is so amusing. I love when they say stuff like, you can jshooshj up your look with a few zebra-stripe highlights on your hair or by wearing scarves made entirely out of pompoms. Or wait, is it spelled, jooj? Tszuj? Jueje? Zjoeurg? George? Jujubee?

Or how about celeb blogs? You know how a reality star's assistant would greet their employer's blog readers with a, hey dolls. Or, hi, my loves. Or, hey lovelies. What should I call the five people who happened upon my shitstain of a blog?





What? I was waiting for someone to contradict me and say, don't be silly, this is no shitstain. No one? Anyone? Fine! I shall now address you as my darling, pooper scoopers!

Moving on, I finally made a visit to my local cleaners' for a long-delayed alteration on a jacket. I am aware that having to take in the shoulders is super tricky business so I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. The kind lady had me up on a platform as she hesistantly pinched and pinned fabric. After a while she looked at me with a smile and said, umm... big everywhere. Go back to store for smaller size?

After that, she accidentally stuck herself with a giant pin and screamed. I gasped and said, I'll kiss it to make it better after which I drank her blood but Lestat came in and stopped me.

Oh wait, that was from Interview with the Vampire. Sorry, sorry. I was confused.

One week later, I picked up my jacket and like the lady told me before I left, they tried their best (woohoo Bon Ton Cleaners). It looked great! I wore it to work the following day. When I entered my work place one of my co-workers said, you look good. But the other co-worker glared at her. And then she shrugged her shoulders and said, what? She does!

Oh, hold on. That was The Devil Wears Prada. Yup. Okay. Bye.



Photo: Dipity

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