Shopping (Mis)guide

Have you heard? Style.com says Collegiate Cool is on trend this Fall. They recommend we get a pair of loafers along with a plaid skirt. The skirt should be easy, any novelty store that sells Halloween costumes should have it. Just look for the Slutty Schoolgirl label.

Oh, look! It's Kelly Bensimon in a plaid skirt. Isn't she from the show called Real Housewives of New York ? I have never watched that show and that's why I don't know that Kelly thinks Bethenny is a cook and not a chef and that gummi bears are fun.

The cape is also making a come back. Don't get a red cape because that is so passe. I would stick with green, it'll be so appropriate when all the Green So-and-so superhero movies come out.



Hold on a minute. The Green Hornet and Green Lantern do not wear capes? Well, there goes my joke.

What else? Ah. Shoulder bags like what our mothers had. Or, if you're like my Mom, still has in her closet (nicely cloth-wrapped, with loose change in the inside pockets).

That's British DJ Fearne Cotton with a Mulberry Neely Messenger. I am not kidding this time but, I really like that bag. In my daydreams I actually bought one and I'm carrying it right now while reaching inside to pull out a custom made handgun because someone is following me and I am an international spy.

Back to the shopping list. Those sweatshirts with the logo that looks like a school's seal? Buy it. A boyish blazer will also come in handy, make sure to look at the tag where it says the blazer comes with B.O. and a puberty mustache, because God knows, that's the only way to get a real boyish one.

Other Fall/ Winter trends to watch out for are the return of Camel - as in the cigarette.

Oh, what? Right. Sorry. Camel as in the color is what I meant.

And there's more. Aviator jackets are already selling out so better get one immediately. The real value-for-money jackets come with a companion flight-attendant polo shirt.

Kitten heels are also back.

That would be a kitten heel on Nicole Kidman. Oh don't be rude. Stop staring at her forehead! Just get a pair of those heels and find some space in your closet for them, alongside your mouse flats, puppy platforms and piggy pumps and... you know I can keep going, right?

Finally, if you're a jewelry kind of lady, the piece to get is the oversized necklace. It's such a statement, especially when worn around an undersized neck.

Okay. That's that. XOXO! Enjoy shopping, dollfaces!