You may notice that I changed my profile picture. There's nothing like being surrounded by jewels. Because when I die, old, hopefully, and crusty (I hope not), I wish to be be hugged by cold jewelry. Bwahahahaha. Just kidding. The worms will probably be better for warmth. And the soil, too.
I meant to write here sooner. But I was, and still am, held hostage by awards season. I normally spend a lot of hours in front of the computer, writing part time. But this month, every time I think, oh, time for a break! There seems to be another event to write about. Just take the Golden Globes, for instance. For every gown I made time for, there were two more gowns I couldn't even write about. Like her:

What a sunny color! Paula Patton has such a lovely face. I wish she would stop posing as if she was gasping for air.

Oh, hello, Laura Linney! One night I might dream of her, in her lace sheath dress, introducing Downton Abbey. Except she would be referring to Donkey Alley. And I am the kitchen maid serving in the household of Lady Graham, heiress to pie crusts and teddy bear cookie cutters.

Um, hi. I'd like to introduce myself as your next wife. Can we get rid of her, now? Just kidding (but not really).

Ozzie. Ozzieozzieozzie. OZZIE?!?!
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