Must Have No. 1: Black and White
All you need to do is think of certain images to bring this trend to life. Close your eyes and think: Piano keys. Hamburglar on heels. Referee chic. Chess couture. Mime Fashion Week. One of Michael Jackson's biggest songs ever. Eyeballs. A healthy tooth beside a cavity-ridden one.
This shouldn't even be a "trend." We all have black and white in our closets. The key is to really zebra it up and play with that contrast. And get your friends in on it with a day of themed dressing in the vein of Spy Vs. Spy Meets Oreos.
Must Have No. 2: Ruffles
Preferably sour cream and onion with chilled ranch dip. Just kidding. Ruffles are tricky. I think we women have a love-hate relationship with anything that's overly feminine. Which is why when wearing ruffles it is advisable to temper the sweet detail with something sharp and edgy. A knife necklace, perhaps. I am also drawn to the idea of a mustache, the more natural the better, so no waxing ladies!
Must Have No. 3: Sheer
And I don't mean L'Eggs! Hey, remember your mom's pantyhose? The ones that came in a little egg-shaped receptacle? We're not talking about that. We're talking about a look at me/no, don't look at me approach. This calls for the most revealing outfit you have ever owned but with an overlay of swishy, sheer details. But why stop there? I propose taking this a step further. For instance, over your most streamlined summer sandal, wear a pair of clogs. Have a pair of creepy little shades? Layer that underneath your oversized sunglasses! Wearing a bandaid from a paper cut? Add a cast.
Must Have No. 4: Rainbow Brite
I'm sure you've seen this everywhere. Those bold, bright lipstick shades that look like they're fresh out of your box of crayons. I am not brave enough to wear those colors. I am not brave enough to wear lipstick, period. Why? All I know is that my lips are so dry that by the end of the day they'll be cracking and looking like a mosaic. But, if I could, I would definitely try all those reds and pinks and Rihanna purples and my fave, The Alaska:
