All right, where were we? Aah, after Key West. Day 4. By the way, as I type this, I am letting my violet/pinkish nail color dry. My right middle finger has been giving me grief. I've started over on it twice! I'm not entirely free of blame as I may have nicked as I, err, took a nap.
Back to Day 4. As I recall it was a Tuesday. This day was a blur of laying out in the sun, sipping bottles of Presidente that had a great gift for turning warm within minutes of being taken out of the fridge. It got so hot that we ended up migrating to the pool. Can I just say that I absolutely loved the warm ocean water and pool water? You know how in most places you get sweaty from laying out so you jump in the water but then you get chills from the water's temperature? That did not happen here. Except for one occasion when it was borderline stormy.
We grilled some pork and chicken for dinner that night. I could tell our next-door neighbors must have been just a tiny bit jealous, as our meat was basted in a garlicky, vinegary, soy saucy, lemony concotion of sorts. One gal walked back and forth by the grill for no reason at all. I mean, at least bring some props - a piece of trash maybe, to pretend to throw in the garbage can, or a lump of coal to put in the little bin, or a piece of raw meat with a little, pardon me, I wish to grill this morsel for my pet!
The next day, there was more laying out in store for us. And then we headed to South Beach. It's exactly like in South Beach movie scenes - people walking around barely dressed, Tony Montana and Manny Ribera trying to pick up girls. Just kidding about Scarface. We went into an Art Deco store where I wish I could have taken pictures of a Joan Crawford paper doll book! OMG, Joan Crawford as a silent movie star, Joan Crawford in period films, Joan Crawford when she had a make-over of sorts, Joan Crawford lifting a silver dish cover to reveal that Baby Jane served a rat for DINDIN!!!
So we walked down Ocean Drive where we spotted Gianni Versace's former home that was now a hotel/ restaurant. And, where the restaurant managers/hosts/hostesses were ruthless in trying to get you to do their happy hour. I mean, they will wave their menus in your face and try to not-so-stealthily usher you into their business. We ended up happy hour-ing at an Italian place... with a flamenco dancer. Go figure. The dancer and the musicians were fantastic. Their deal was buy one get one of their tub-sized drinks to share. I mean, the mojito looked like a kid's ecosystem fish bowl project and their pina colada looked like a body builder's protein shake at 7am.
We ended the night at this place called Bayside. It's like an outdoor/indoor bazaar/performance place. No actually, my sister and I ended the night with a glass of milk and those strangely delicious cookies from the plane ride over, and Jurassic Park 3. No, actually I ended the night on my side trying to fall asleep but wanting to get the AC on a cooler setting but was too lazy to get up.
Thursday was when Hurricane Irene swished by Florida. That was a close call. We got a full day of rain and scary waves but that was all. You know what that means, right? Laundry day. Except a bunch of other people were thinking the same thing. We got first dibs, though. Aside from laundry we also got to know Tabatha, Patti Stanger, the Kardashians, and Benjamin Button via the TV. Look, when you are on vacation, your brain must also go on vacation, which is why it was perfectly all right to watch said reality shows.
On Friday, big waves aside, the weather turned for the better. It was back to the beach and the pool. Now, a note about resort pools. All of y'all just met each other, why are you telling her that your husband has sleep apnea and uses a CPAP machine. And why are you telling him that you and your spouse sleep in separate bedrooms. It was like I was watching An Hour with Strangers: Your Secrets are Safe with Me.
On our last night in Florida, we had dinner at my Dad's good friend's house. His super cute, squirmy, toddler grandson was there. There was a lot of eating, a lot of talk about skincare, dieting, our adventures when were new immigrants, as well as an episode of Karaoke Battle USA.
And then it was time to go. It's always sad when the trip ends. I mean, there's no bigger 'end' signal than having to check in for your return flight and print your boarding pass.
Saturday went by quickly. We had the required picture-taking session at the resort, with my Mom waving the camera screen at our faces saying, this picture looks good because I TOOK IT. Then we headed to a Japanese buffet where we filled our bellies up because who wants to get desperately hungry at the airport where your choices are expensive cardboard, bargain grease, and pricey pellets?
Then let's just skip the airport and plane ride home and just flash forward to me with my peeling skin and my brain that is still on vacation because God help me, I'm still watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians!?!?!?!
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