Working with women, as far as their wardrobes go, some of the things I always hear is:
I'm not wearing the right underwear.
I'm not wearing the right bra.
I need Spanx.
I have a donut here (points to belly button area).
You can see my muffin top.
I need to lose 4.3lbs.
I look like Spongebob (to which I ask if they'd rather be Spongebob-shaped or Patrick-shaped, take your pick).
Just kidding about that last one.
In any case, we all have those days when the bloat is just too strong to fight. Days when the thought of control undies make a single tear roll down your eye. I know I have those moments. In fact, I think a big chunk of my closet is dedicated to drapey, flowy clothes half a size too big. Just for those days when sucking in my gut all day at work is not an option.
So here's a little something I put together. The star is the elastic waistband of course. And the sandals are for when you've reached your quota of hours on heels.
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
Summerish
What is it about summer that makes my hand-to-wallet speed much faster? It's as if the breezier fabrics and sleek sandals switch something on in my brain that says, it's okay, buy me. I'm such a good deal. Really, this is not a joke. Thankfully, my cheapness, which is a weakness, is also a strength.
And because I want to share this, ah, illness. I put together a little something to get you in the mood for a mini, affordable, summer shopping spree.
Did you click to see the rest of it? If you did, yes, I like neutrals. If Macy's still has their shoe sale going on, the sandals are under $40.00! If I use utensils, avoid potato chips, and have no sticker price tags to scrape off, I'd still have that red nail polish on until, say, Wednesday.
Happy shopping!
And because I want to share this, ah, illness. I put together a little something to get you in the mood for a mini, affordable, summer shopping spree.
Did you click to see the rest of it? If you did, yes, I like neutrals. If Macy's still has their shoe sale going on, the sandals are under $40.00! If I use utensils, avoid potato chips, and have no sticker price tags to scrape off, I'd still have that red nail polish on until, say, Wednesday.
Happy shopping!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Shopping Misguide Spring/Summer 2013 Edition
With April on fast forward, and September just around the corner, this edition of Shopping Misguide is long overdue. So I'll just jump right into it.
Must Have No. 1: Black and White
All you need to do is think of certain images to bring this trend to life. Close your eyes and think: Piano keys. Hamburglar on heels. Referee chic. Chess couture. Mime Fashion Week. One of Michael Jackson's biggest songs ever. Eyeballs. A healthy tooth beside a cavity-ridden one.
This shouldn't even be a "trend." We all have black and white in our closets. The key is to really zebra it up and play with that contrast. And get your friends in on it with a day of themed dressing in the vein of Spy Vs. Spy Meets Oreos.
Must Have No. 2: Ruffles
Preferably sour cream and onion with chilled ranch dip. Just kidding. Ruffles are tricky. I think we women have a love-hate relationship with anything that's overly feminine. Which is why when wearing ruffles it is advisable to temper the sweet detail with something sharp and edgy. A knife necklace, perhaps. I am also drawn to the idea of a mustache, the more natural the better, so no waxing ladies!
Must Have No. 3: Sheer
And I don't mean L'Eggs! Hey, remember your mom's pantyhose? The ones that came in a little egg-shaped receptacle? We're not talking about that. We're talking about a look at me/no, don't look at me approach. This calls for the most revealing outfit you have ever owned but with an overlay of swishy, sheer details. But why stop there? I propose taking this a step further. For instance, over your most streamlined summer sandal, wear a pair of clogs. Have a pair of creepy little shades? Layer that underneath your oversized sunglasses! Wearing a bandaid from a paper cut? Add a cast.
Must Have No. 4: Rainbow Brite
I'm sure you've seen this everywhere. Those bold, bright lipstick shades that look like they're fresh out of your box of crayons. I am not brave enough to wear those colors. I am not brave enough to wear lipstick, period. Why? All I know is that my lips are so dry that by the end of the day they'll be cracking and looking like a mosaic. But, if I could, I would definitely try all those reds and pinks and Rihanna purples and my fave, The Alaska:
Must Have No. 1: Black and White
All you need to do is think of certain images to bring this trend to life. Close your eyes and think: Piano keys. Hamburglar on heels. Referee chic. Chess couture. Mime Fashion Week. One of Michael Jackson's biggest songs ever. Eyeballs. A healthy tooth beside a cavity-ridden one.
This shouldn't even be a "trend." We all have black and white in our closets. The key is to really zebra it up and play with that contrast. And get your friends in on it with a day of themed dressing in the vein of Spy Vs. Spy Meets Oreos.
Must Have No. 2: Ruffles
Preferably sour cream and onion with chilled ranch dip. Just kidding. Ruffles are tricky. I think we women have a love-hate relationship with anything that's overly feminine. Which is why when wearing ruffles it is advisable to temper the sweet detail with something sharp and edgy. A knife necklace, perhaps. I am also drawn to the idea of a mustache, the more natural the better, so no waxing ladies!
Must Have No. 3: Sheer
And I don't mean L'Eggs! Hey, remember your mom's pantyhose? The ones that came in a little egg-shaped receptacle? We're not talking about that. We're talking about a look at me/no, don't look at me approach. This calls for the most revealing outfit you have ever owned but with an overlay of swishy, sheer details. But why stop there? I propose taking this a step further. For instance, over your most streamlined summer sandal, wear a pair of clogs. Have a pair of creepy little shades? Layer that underneath your oversized sunglasses! Wearing a bandaid from a paper cut? Add a cast.
Must Have No. 4: Rainbow Brite
I'm sure you've seen this everywhere. Those bold, bright lipstick shades that look like they're fresh out of your box of crayons. I am not brave enough to wear those colors. I am not brave enough to wear lipstick, period. Why? All I know is that my lips are so dry that by the end of the day they'll be cracking and looking like a mosaic. But, if I could, I would definitely try all those reds and pinks and Rihanna purples and my fave, The Alaska:
Friday, June 22, 2012
Shopping Misguide: Summer 2012 Edition
All right then. Summer has officially begun. Yet, you wouldn't know it if you were me, typing, with a dazzling grey view outside my window. All this rain is making me gloomy that I want to start writing a new version of Cinderella. It will have a tragic ending, have more villains than heroes, and will only be 200 words. The title? Gingerella. The stepmother? Vicky Pollard.
Let's get down to business. Let's pretend it's sunny out. Hot and sticky. What woman would not want to have a tank top on? I am not talking about an ordinary tank top. I'm talking about maximum ventilation. Low neckline. Massive armholes. I mean, we're talking apron coverage here, suspenders, even. But what am I to wear them with, you might ask. Worry not. I have just the thing. You want to create a play with volume, right? So we have a very loose top. Then you get your tightest shorts. You know, that pair you had from when you were young. And I don't mean your teen years. I mean before that. Enjoy.
If you read gossip magazines, the ones with headlines like Celebs: They're Normal Too! You might notice the strong showing of floral/printed/pastel-colored jeans. Yummers! They are so cute that they're QUTE, with a Q. Here's the thing: if you want to wear them but you're afraid the attention your thighs will get won't be enough, then that's a problem. I have a solution. Why stop at printed pants? Why not head over to Home Depot. Buy some wallpaper. Simply cut holes for your eyes, nose, mouth, arms, and feet. Voila!
It's... Miley! Kids, there's no denying it. Miley Cyrus is well fit these days. So let's take page from her book of no-style with...crop tops! The croppier, the better! I'm not talking about a slice of midriff showing in between your bralet and your waist band. Here's the rule of thumb, if the flesh showing is as small as the length of your thumb, then don't even bother. What's a little underboob exposure, right? What's a little panty showing, right? I mean, who cares if your rolls are hanging out? And this goes both ways, so I should also say: who cares if your ribs are hanging out? Like Gingerella would say, a bag of coal is better than none!
Finally, a note about hairstyles. I only have one word for you. Top-knots. Top-knots are top notch this summer. I'm sure you've seen them, just go up to Nordstrom's BP, or down, depending on which location, and you'll see them everywhere. Girls walking around as if some photog will pap them at any time and attach a caption saying what's hot now, or style spotting at 5th and Pine, or messy chic, or how to wear a top-knot. I'm not talking about a neat, salon-level updo. There's no room for that here. I'm talking about it's a Saturday, I'm hungover but I need to do laundry and Im'ma tie my hair up and around . I'm talking about a top-knot that is so disheveled the only accessory you need to look like a hot mess is a pair of fake prescription glasses and at least two denim pieces on your outfit.
So go ahead shoppers, enjoy yourselves! Like Gingerella would say, F**k off I've got shit to shovel!
Let's get down to business. Let's pretend it's sunny out. Hot and sticky. What woman would not want to have a tank top on? I am not talking about an ordinary tank top. I'm talking about maximum ventilation. Low neckline. Massive armholes. I mean, we're talking apron coverage here, suspenders, even. But what am I to wear them with, you might ask. Worry not. I have just the thing. You want to create a play with volume, right? So we have a very loose top. Then you get your tightest shorts. You know, that pair you had from when you were young. And I don't mean your teen years. I mean before that. Enjoy.
If you read gossip magazines, the ones with headlines like Celebs: They're Normal Too! You might notice the strong showing of floral/printed/pastel-colored jeans. Yummers! They are so cute that they're QUTE, with a Q. Here's the thing: if you want to wear them but you're afraid the attention your thighs will get won't be enough, then that's a problem. I have a solution. Why stop at printed pants? Why not head over to Home Depot. Buy some wallpaper. Simply cut holes for your eyes, nose, mouth, arms, and feet. Voila!
It's... Miley! Kids, there's no denying it. Miley Cyrus is well fit these days. So let's take page from her book of no-style with...crop tops! The croppier, the better! I'm not talking about a slice of midriff showing in between your bralet and your waist band. Here's the rule of thumb, if the flesh showing is as small as the length of your thumb, then don't even bother. What's a little underboob exposure, right? What's a little panty showing, right? I mean, who cares if your rolls are hanging out? And this goes both ways, so I should also say: who cares if your ribs are hanging out? Like Gingerella would say, a bag of coal is better than none!
Finally, a note about hairstyles. I only have one word for you. Top-knots. Top-knots are top notch this summer. I'm sure you've seen them, just go up to Nordstrom's BP, or down, depending on which location, and you'll see them everywhere. Girls walking around as if some photog will pap them at any time and attach a caption saying what's hot now, or style spotting at 5th and Pine, or messy chic, or how to wear a top-knot. I'm not talking about a neat, salon-level updo. There's no room for that here. I'm talking about it's a Saturday, I'm hungover but I need to do laundry and Im'ma tie my hair up and around . I'm talking about a top-knot that is so disheveled the only accessory you need to look like a hot mess is a pair of fake prescription glasses and at least two denim pieces on your outfit.
So go ahead shoppers, enjoy yourselves! Like Gingerella would say, F**k off I've got shit to shovel!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Super Lekker!
Um, what just happened? I'm already rusty, and don't know what to write, then Blogger suddenly has this new look. Well, Blogger, guess what? I can do a new look as well. As we speak, I'm doing my best triangle face with my eyes wide open, and my nostrils flared.
Okay. Normal face.
I took a trip, you guys. On the last week of April I flew to Holland to meet one of my childhood friends. Which explains the Lekker title. I heard it a lot on the radio and on TV commercials. My friend and I, we grew up a few houses away from each other in a street called Paris, where skinned knobby knees were badges of honor, news of fighting adults traveled quickly, and parents finding neighbor children in their homes, any time of day, was normal.
Aside from catching up, reminiscing, LOL-ing with tears in our eyes, and wondering about other characters from our childhood, we got to see a little bit of everything, such as:
Rain, sun, wind, and hail, all during an hour-long lunch of savory pannaku... GOOGLE BREAK... Pannakoeken!
Amazing buildings, and weird sinking ones. As in, sinking forward, back, in the middle, on one side...
An eye-popping Turkish market at The Hague with vegetables, meat, fish, cheese, jewelry, socks, bread, watches, and so on. I loved it! If you're a shopper, and are willing to brave hordes of Grandma-to-grandkid-sized groups, tricked-out strollers mauling your foot, and the interesting smell you will have on you after you shop, then this is the place. There are many treasures to be found...except fresh herring. I could only hold down one bite. I'm sorry. I know it's like a national delicacy of sorts but I need some acid on my raw fish, and white onions don't cut it. P.S. Nagtitinda sila ng malunggay!
A very enthusiastic after-work crowd in bars and pubs, and their outdoor tables. Even if it was cold. AND IT WAS COLD, I TELL YA!
A chip-in, chip-out train/bus card system, combined with stern drivers, that will have you obsessing about whether your ov-chipkaart is in your person at any given moment. No, sorry forgot my Orca card today excuse.
One of the best dinners ever at a tiny Italian restaurant called Giuliano's, run by an Italian father-son tandem. My friend ran into a pair of co-workers, one Dutch, one from Southern Italy, and we all decided to have dinner together. Some of Mr. Italy's recurring, wine-induced lines of the evening were SHHH, don't talk, this Paolo Conte song means a lot to me. Also: Seattle? Seattle? You stay here. Your life is changed. We capped off our delicious meal with these yummy little cakes soaked in, gosh, I don't know, something as strong as jet fuel I guess, and limoncello. Oh, and this was followed by a ride. In a car. To a casino. With a horrendous Limp Bizkit song playing in high volume. I don't know how this happened.
The best-treated cyclists. And I thought Seattle peeps were doing great, but no, the Dutch are doing a lot for their bicycle riders. They have their own lane - everywhere - and if a pedestrian dares to wander off into their path, you'll hear a yell and a honk.
Stunning works of art at the Rijksmuseum. It was heart-warming to see the line of people snake around the building.
The Red Light District. Looks like the on-trend attire is that onesie style Borat favors, but worn with a pair of glasses. Interesting how the farther away from the center you are the less, um, fit, the women in the windows get.
A gorgeous day that just happened to be Queen's Day. Everyone was in a great mood. We walked over to this area called The Fred where stores, and just about anyone could have a little spot in the sidewalk to sell goods. And by goods, I mean this loosely. I mean, there were kids selling suspicious, homemade juice in plastic cups. Some were singing, or playing instruments. For charity they would say, but it kinda looked like by charity, they meant themselves.
Finally, a collection of words/phrases for you to string together as you please: Queen's Night. Tourist. Party. Legal.
Okay. Normal face.
I took a trip, you guys. On the last week of April I flew to Holland to meet one of my childhood friends. Which explains the Lekker title. I heard it a lot on the radio and on TV commercials. My friend and I, we grew up a few houses away from each other in a street called Paris, where skinned knobby knees were badges of honor, news of fighting adults traveled quickly, and parents finding neighbor children in their homes, any time of day, was normal.
Aside from catching up, reminiscing, LOL-ing with tears in our eyes, and wondering about other characters from our childhood, we got to see a little bit of everything, such as:
Rain, sun, wind, and hail, all during an hour-long lunch of savory pannaku... GOOGLE BREAK... Pannakoeken!
Amazing buildings, and weird sinking ones. As in, sinking forward, back, in the middle, on one side...
An eye-popping Turkish market at The Hague with vegetables, meat, fish, cheese, jewelry, socks, bread, watches, and so on. I loved it! If you're a shopper, and are willing to brave hordes of Grandma-to-grandkid-sized groups, tricked-out strollers mauling your foot, and the interesting smell you will have on you after you shop, then this is the place. There are many treasures to be found...except fresh herring. I could only hold down one bite. I'm sorry. I know it's like a national delicacy of sorts but I need some acid on my raw fish, and white onions don't cut it. P.S. Nagtitinda sila ng malunggay!
A very enthusiastic after-work crowd in bars and pubs, and their outdoor tables. Even if it was cold. AND IT WAS COLD, I TELL YA!
A chip-in, chip-out train/bus card system, combined with stern drivers, that will have you obsessing about whether your ov-chipkaart is in your person at any given moment. No, sorry forgot my Orca card today excuse.
One of the best dinners ever at a tiny Italian restaurant called Giuliano's, run by an Italian father-son tandem. My friend ran into a pair of co-workers, one Dutch, one from Southern Italy, and we all decided to have dinner together. Some of Mr. Italy's recurring, wine-induced lines of the evening were SHHH, don't talk, this Paolo Conte song means a lot to me. Also: Seattle? Seattle? You stay here. Your life is changed. We capped off our delicious meal with these yummy little cakes soaked in, gosh, I don't know, something as strong as jet fuel I guess, and limoncello. Oh, and this was followed by a ride. In a car. To a casino. With a horrendous Limp Bizkit song playing in high volume. I don't know how this happened.
The best-treated cyclists. And I thought Seattle peeps were doing great, but no, the Dutch are doing a lot for their bicycle riders. They have their own lane - everywhere - and if a pedestrian dares to wander off into their path, you'll hear a yell and a honk.
Stunning works of art at the Rijksmuseum. It was heart-warming to see the line of people snake around the building.
The Red Light District. Looks like the on-trend attire is that onesie style Borat favors, but worn with a pair of glasses. Interesting how the farther away from the center you are the less, um, fit, the women in the windows get.
A gorgeous day that just happened to be Queen's Day. Everyone was in a great mood. We walked over to this area called The Fred where stores, and just about anyone could have a little spot in the sidewalk to sell goods. And by goods, I mean this loosely. I mean, there were kids selling suspicious, homemade juice in plastic cups. Some were singing, or playing instruments. For charity they would say, but it kinda looked like by charity, they meant themselves.
Finally, a collection of words/phrases for you to string together as you please: Queen's Night. Tourist. Party. Legal.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Shopping (Mis)guide: Winter 2011 Edition
Item no. 1. Prints. Lots of it. Layer a windowpane checked vest over a floral dress, under dotted tights, top with a paisley scarf, and no shoes. The idea is to make an entrance. Nowadays, just one print is no longer enough. Enter with a bang and not a whimper. You want to step into a room and have people think: Wow. That chick is crazy. Follow the basic rule: P-R-I-N-T. Polka dots, Ribbons, Ikat, Nubby knits, Tartan. Or, Poop stain, Rainbows, Igloos, Nets, Tigers. You may also substitute, Pickles, Rickles, Ickles, Nickels, Tickles.
This winter, every woman needs a pair of glitter heels. Forget Dorothy and her ruby slippers. Take it up a notch. Take it up ten notches. Don't settle for mere sparkles and glitters. Think jewels. If you need to stab your foot with a dozen brooches for a completely bejeweled look, if you need to wrap your ankles with your mother's pearls and granny's chains, then that's what you need to do.
Okay ladies, with even colder months ahead, we need to go LONG. Thank God for that. I mean, no one wants to see anyone's winter wonderland leg hair under semi sheer pantyhose, right? And we've had enough of those stupid shorts over tights too. This season we want trousers with wedding gown trains. Skirts so long you'll need a ladder to reach the zipper. Coats that trail the ground dragging small neighborhoods as you walk. You want your shirt to be long too, as in the tails are peeking from under the hem of your pencil skirt.
One word: PLEATS. This is serious. I have been looking for a pleated skirt for months. Too long and I look like a middle aged school principal. Too short and I look like I'm trying to be on J Pop America Fun Time Now! Too soft and my hips look like shelving. Too stiff and I look like I've regressed to my schooling days. What am I to do? Should I just give up and accept that pleats are not for me? Or should I stand proud and wear what I wish, without a care for bookshelf hips or age-appropriate lengths. Must I be fettered by concerns such as floaty skirt fabric up my butt crack and a waistband around no waist?!? This is 2011 ladies and gentlemen. And next year it is 2012. The time is now. The place is here. Tomorrow is a Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.
Wow, I'm exhausted. Seriously. What were we talking about again?
This winter, every woman needs a pair of glitter heels. Forget Dorothy and her ruby slippers. Take it up a notch. Take it up ten notches. Don't settle for mere sparkles and glitters. Think jewels. If you need to stab your foot with a dozen brooches for a completely bejeweled look, if you need to wrap your ankles with your mother's pearls and granny's chains, then that's what you need to do.
Okay ladies, with even colder months ahead, we need to go LONG. Thank God for that. I mean, no one wants to see anyone's winter wonderland leg hair under semi sheer pantyhose, right? And we've had enough of those stupid shorts over tights too. This season we want trousers with wedding gown trains. Skirts so long you'll need a ladder to reach the zipper. Coats that trail the ground dragging small neighborhoods as you walk. You want your shirt to be long too, as in the tails are peeking from under the hem of your pencil skirt.
One word: PLEATS. This is serious. I have been looking for a pleated skirt for months. Too long and I look like a middle aged school principal. Too short and I look like I'm trying to be on J Pop America Fun Time Now! Too soft and my hips look like shelving. Too stiff and I look like I've regressed to my schooling days. What am I to do? Should I just give up and accept that pleats are not for me? Or should I stand proud and wear what I wish, without a care for bookshelf hips or age-appropriate lengths. Must I be fettered by concerns such as floaty skirt fabric up my butt crack and a waistband around no waist?!? This is 2011 ladies and gentlemen. And next year it is 2012. The time is now. The place is here. Tomorrow is a Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.
Wow, I'm exhausted. Seriously. What were we talking about again?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Overheard
You know how the saying goes, little pitchers have big teeth. Which is why I like my pitchers small and my mugs large. Heeey!
Oh. That's not how the saying goes?
Anyway, I overheard this at a clothing store. Allow me to set this up. It was by a store entrance, a mother, let's call her Mildred, and her daughter, let's call her Hotshit, paused to comment on the merchandise.
Hotshit: I'm not even going in.
Mildew: Yeah. But this skirt is cute.
Hotshit: Soooo cute.
Sales Associate: Isn't it? It's very demure. Would you like to try it on?
Hotshit & Mildsauce in unison: Oh no, no. No, no. Oh gosh, no, no. It won't fit.
Mildress: The XS is too big for her. Too big.
Sales Associate: We also have an XXS.
Hotshit: It's still too big. Mom, look how BIG the size 2 is.
Mildred: My daughter's waist is a size 22... and yeah, even that size 2 might be BIG for me.
Nice. I've never encountered a skinny person who was so smug about being thin. And I hate to say this but the mother? Size 2? Too big??? Yeah, right, she was more like a 2+6.
And I'm sorry, but those two got me all riled up. If all they're going to do is hover at various stores' doorways and go yakkety-yak about too-big this and too-big that, maybe they shouldn't be shopping. Maybe, they should just go to Toys R Us and buy little doll clothes to put on her little doll body so she can bake a cake in her dollhouse oven.
Moving on.
Overheard: you know how in comic books, a character would laugh and the sound was, yuk yuk yuk.
I swear, I heard an actual laugh that sounded like that. Except it was closer to hyauk hyauk HYAAUUUK, with a shrug of the shoulders for each HYAAUUK.
Overheard: a cover of November Rain by a lady singer where she raps in the middle of it. It was weird. Though not as weird as my own anti-rhythm version of just about any song that was ever written in the history of the world.
Oh. That's not how the saying goes?
Anyway, I overheard this at a clothing store. Allow me to set this up. It was by a store entrance, a mother, let's call her Mildred, and her daughter, let's call her Hotshit, paused to comment on the merchandise.
Hotshit: I'm not even going in.
Mildew: Yeah. But this skirt is cute.
Hotshit: Soooo cute.
Sales Associate: Isn't it? It's very demure. Would you like to try it on?
Hotshit & Mildsauce in unison: Oh no, no. No, no. Oh gosh, no, no. It won't fit.
Mildress: The XS is too big for her. Too big.
Sales Associate: We also have an XXS.
Hotshit: It's still too big. Mom, look how BIG the size 2 is.
Mildred: My daughter's waist is a size 22... and yeah, even that size 2 might be BIG for me.
Nice. I've never encountered a skinny person who was so smug about being thin. And I hate to say this but the mother? Size 2? Too big??? Yeah, right, she was more like a 2+6.
And I'm sorry, but those two got me all riled up. If all they're going to do is hover at various stores' doorways and go yakkety-yak about too-big this and too-big that, maybe they shouldn't be shopping. Maybe, they should just go to Toys R Us and buy little doll clothes to put on her little doll body so she can bake a cake in her dollhouse oven.
Moving on.
Overheard: you know how in comic books, a character would laugh and the sound was, yuk yuk yuk.
I swear, I heard an actual laugh that sounded like that. Except it was closer to hyauk hyauk HYAAUUUK, with a shrug of the shoulders for each HYAAUUK.
Overheard: a cover of November Rain by a lady singer where she raps in the middle of it. It was weird. Though not as weird as my own anti-rhythm version of just about any song that was ever written in the history of the world.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Shopping (Mis)guide: Spring 2011 Edition
Hello, my footsies! I mean tootsies. Spring has started and that means our closets need an overhaul. And by overhaul I mean I need a carpenter to reattach a few rickety pieces. Just kidding. What I meant to say was, now is the time to start putting some winter clothes away and bringing out, or buying, warm-weather stuff.
Have you heard? Flared pants are back. In a way this is good. Our eyes need a rest from those damned skinny jeans and the people who insist on wearing them even if... hey! You! Yes, you! Everyone can see you're wearing a pair two sizes too small. There's no shame in going up a size!
So, where were we? Ah, yes. Flared pants. I suppose the secret here is finding a pair that is flared enough on top so that the narrow hem is more obvious.
Oh, what?
Sorry, my mistake. The hem is the one that's flared, not the crotch and thighs.
Shit. What am I going to do with this pair I just bought at oppositesonly.com?
Next on the list are color-block pieces. This, I like.
Who am I kidding? I don't like color at all. Up until I started working at a place where white and black clothing are strongly suggested, I never realized how many black pieces I had. And I'm sure I'm not alone when I say bright colors scare me. And anything resembling the color of a Stabilo Boss Highlighter? SCARY.
Trench coats? Must-have. Spy to wear trench coat? Even more of a must-have.
This is not a joke. I do actually want a trench coat. Just the classic khaki trench with maybe, muted/matte gold or bronze buttons, nothing too fancy or hardware-heavy, and definitely no flashy or oversized buttons. I don't need any leather-detailed ones or ruffled hems or quilted sleeves. Just a trench.
Here's an obvious one. Sandals. I swear, I am going to push sandal-season all the way into October. I don't care. I'm so ready for higher temperatures. The key to making your sandals look current is to find the most creative pair you can. For instance, you might choose one with a mix of clear and leather straps. Or, multi-colored ones. You know the one where there's a strap for your big toe?
Photo: Shoebunny
Forget that, get one where the strap is on an unexpected toe. Something like this:
And there you have it my darlings! Have fun shopping! XOXO
Have you heard? Flared pants are back. In a way this is good. Our eyes need a rest from those damned skinny jeans and the people who insist on wearing them even if... hey! You! Yes, you! Everyone can see you're wearing a pair two sizes too small. There's no shame in going up a size!
So, where were we? Ah, yes. Flared pants. I suppose the secret here is finding a pair that is flared enough on top so that the narrow hem is more obvious.
Oh, what?
Sorry, my mistake. The hem is the one that's flared, not the crotch and thighs.
Shit. What am I going to do with this pair I just bought at oppositesonly.com?
Next on the list are color-block pieces. This, I like.
Who am I kidding? I don't like color at all. Up until I started working at a place where white and black clothing are strongly suggested, I never realized how many black pieces I had. And I'm sure I'm not alone when I say bright colors scare me. And anything resembling the color of a Stabilo Boss Highlighter? SCARY.
Trench coats? Must-have. Spy to wear trench coat? Even more of a must-have.
This is not a joke. I do actually want a trench coat. Just the classic khaki trench with maybe, muted/matte gold or bronze buttons, nothing too fancy or hardware-heavy, and definitely no flashy or oversized buttons. I don't need any leather-detailed ones or ruffled hems or quilted sleeves. Just a trench.
Here's an obvious one. Sandals. I swear, I am going to push sandal-season all the way into October. I don't care. I'm so ready for higher temperatures. The key to making your sandals look current is to find the most creative pair you can. For instance, you might choose one with a mix of clear and leather straps. Or, multi-colored ones. You know the one where there's a strap for your big toe?
Photo: Shoebunny
Forget that, get one where the strap is on an unexpected toe. Something like this:
And there you have it my darlings! Have fun shopping! XOXO
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Clearance Items on this Rack
How do I say this nicely, about myself? Let's see...
Okay, there's no way so I'll just come right out and say it. I am kind of a cheapo. There. Now that that's out of the way I'd like to share my very brief Fall shopping list.
I would like a pair of rain boots. This is kind of puzzling but even though I've lived in rainy Seattle for almost 7 years now, I have never owned a pair of rain boots. Let's just say I've experienced quite a bit of flooding in my flats. Yuck, right? So this year, I want a pair that's similar to what Michelle Williams is wearing in this paparazzi picture. There's a Jeffrey Campbell Vee rain boot in black that looks great. They're about $50. I like that they look so easy to slip on as opposed to taller boots that might suffer from Gaping Mouth Syndrome and Pulled Pant Leg Disease.
Not only have I foolishly and consistently worn flats through the rain but I've done so in winter too. I want to make it up to my feet and get another pair of boots. I saw a pair of Zara lace-up wedges in black. Don't tell anyone but they kind of spoke to me. I think they said, oy woman, being broke ain't so bad. Buy me. But that short trip to Vancouver came and went and I never did spend the 99.90CAD on that pair. There isn't a physical Zara store here and their website is all, you're being punished for not buying so contact the webmaster to get a lecture against delayed gratification and wait until our online store is up.
Several blog posts ago I complained about my odd-shaped head and how hats just don't fit me. That has not changed. My skull is as small and lumpy as it ever was which means that hats are still a no for me. I do want one of those chunky knitted headbands that can stretch wide enough to cover your ears. Hey! it's a two for one: warm ears and no hat head, woohoo.
I would also like a new bag as I've pretty much used my favorite bag to death. I mean I've put a leftover, napkin-wrapped sandwich(or 2, or more) in there, 3 library books at the same time, two small shattered pieces from the car's rear light, a can of diet rootbeer, a bag of chips, etc, etc...
Some have complained that the Sofia Coppola-Louis Vuitton collab was boring but I really like this, or, realistically speaking, something that looks like this:
I want one of those larger bags with both an adjustable shoulder strap so you can wear it across your body, or not, and top handles. Being a sort-by-price-low-to-high kind of shopper, I would like one that's reasonably priced.
By reasonable I mean affordable. By affordable I mean cheap. And by cheap I mean I'll probably still be using my current bag for a few more months.
*Prada Fall 2010 headband, Sofia Coppola and Louis Vuitton SC bag
Okay, there's no way so I'll just come right out and say it. I am kind of a cheapo. There. Now that that's out of the way I'd like to share my very brief Fall shopping list.
I would like a pair of rain boots. This is kind of puzzling but even though I've lived in rainy Seattle for almost 7 years now, I have never owned a pair of rain boots. Let's just say I've experienced quite a bit of flooding in my flats. Yuck, right? So this year, I want a pair that's similar to what Michelle Williams is wearing in this paparazzi picture. There's a Jeffrey Campbell Vee rain boot in black that looks great. They're about $50. I like that they look so easy to slip on as opposed to taller boots that might suffer from Gaping Mouth Syndrome and Pulled Pant Leg Disease.
Not only have I foolishly and consistently worn flats through the rain but I've done so in winter too. I want to make it up to my feet and get another pair of boots. I saw a pair of Zara lace-up wedges in black. Don't tell anyone but they kind of spoke to me. I think they said, oy woman, being broke ain't so bad. Buy me. But that short trip to Vancouver came and went and I never did spend the 99.90CAD on that pair. There isn't a physical Zara store here and their website is all, you're being punished for not buying so contact the webmaster to get a lecture against delayed gratification and wait until our online store is up.
Several blog posts ago I complained about my odd-shaped head and how hats just don't fit me. That has not changed. My skull is as small and lumpy as it ever was which means that hats are still a no for me. I do want one of those chunky knitted headbands that can stretch wide enough to cover your ears. Hey! it's a two for one: warm ears and no hat head, woohoo.
I would also like a new bag as I've pretty much used my favorite bag to death. I mean I've put a leftover, napkin-wrapped sandwich(or 2, or more) in there, 3 library books at the same time, two small shattered pieces from the car's rear light, a can of diet rootbeer, a bag of chips, etc, etc...
Some have complained that the Sofia Coppola-Louis Vuitton collab was boring but I really like this, or, realistically speaking, something that looks like this:
I want one of those larger bags with both an adjustable shoulder strap so you can wear it across your body, or not, and top handles. Being a sort-by-price-low-to-high kind of shopper, I would like one that's reasonably priced.
By reasonable I mean affordable. By affordable I mean cheap. And by cheap I mean I'll probably still be using my current bag for a few more months.
*Prada Fall 2010 headband, Sofia Coppola and Louis Vuitton SC bag
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